My little baby in the UK, Zen, my beautiful black and silver miniature schnauzer passed last week. It was strange as I had been feeling incredibly depressed the whole day - the kind of heavy hearted-feeling that prevents you from doing anything, even getting out of bed.
I couldn't put my finger on why I was feeling so empty. The last time I had felt that way was immediately after Mia's passing.... I tried to distract myself from this sickly feeling by immersing myself in music, which normally for me is a great healer. Hauled ass to my studio and put my head down
Hours later in the early afternoon, with no real progress musically, the name 'MARCHELLA' flashed on my phone and at that moment my heart dropped as I forced a very slow and dry swallow motion....
Zen had JUST been put down... She had been suffering from liver and heart cancer over the last months and the time had finally come to set her free from all her pain and say goodbye. As with Mia, she had reached a point where no medication was helping her condition or reducing her pain.
I instantly felt relieved of this disconcerting ill-feeling that had been with me for most of the day...
Is it possible that Zen had connected with me during her last hours? Some of you may think I'm psychotic having fantastical ideas - but I truly believe this.
Maybe I need to.
Mia & Zen - I miss you girls
Zen represents my life in London. She was my first lil baby. My fluff ball. My bundle of puppiness - as she never really grew up - she went through her entire life looking like a pup. She was evergreen in everyway....
I carry many hilarious stories fo Zen & her mischievious ways... but Zen's biggest moment has gotta be her feature in one of my early music videos when I was part of a duo called 'Confucius Says' in the UK: here (Go on then - have a big laugh at what I looked like!)
It is strange how Zen even came to be with me... I didnt want her in fact as she was the last of the litter to be taken, a reserved pup who unlike her other siblings, was completely disinterested in me when I went to view her. When I picked her up, she didn't give me eye contact and was limp in my hands. In fact she fulfilled all the criteria to NOT be chosen.. (if that makes any sense)
But the little Granny from Bromley, who was her owner was INSISTENT that I take her... so I entertained her for awhile thinking that she was probably lonely etc.
Then Granny pulled out Zen's pedigree certificate and at that moment I knew I had to have her.
Zen's given pedigree name read :
" Merry Melissa "
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